Ughh!

I don’t need her bitter little quips. If she really hates me then she should just shut the fuck up, stop blibbering bullshit or tell me, in my face, send me a god damn mail. I don’t really want to explain myself to her, I know I don’t have to. But her bitterness is irritating the flying fuck out of me. I didn’t ask him to leave her! I didn’t plan for anything like this to happen, I didn’t tell him to come back to me, he went back on his own accord and if she wasn’t being a bleating idiot she would have realized that! I shudder at her immaturity with handling of the situation, I wish she’d stop playing the victim ‘cause she’s bloody well not! It’s just frustrating having to deal with her too. Ughh! “Nothing lasts forever”? OH if i could get ahold of her I’ll make sure I can leave something that lasts forever in her screwed up bitter little nose!

Trying to get a mermaid to cry underwater.

I just love her words.

Sometimes I feel like, “Oh, I wanna leave this guy, he’s never gonna be with me, I’m not even sure he really loves me, I should just look for someone in real life.” But I guess it’s hard to look for anyone else when you already have your eyes set on a particular person. And being in love with him is such a bliss most of the time, it’s like a constant daydream. I daydream about being with him and it’s such a beautiful fantasy that I can’t ever tear my mind away from it. Can’t help but consider the possibilities. So I just keep coming back to him. But it’s not always good. Sometimes it’s like being tightly gripped by something far stronger than reason.

Title’s completely irrelevant by the way.

11 Questions

1.If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

Cooking. And playing the piano. And riding the bike. And driving.

2. What is your favorite quote from your favorite book?

“You’re gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this: Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle.” — Dexter Mayhew, One Day

“It’s hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.” — Percy Jackson (not sure which book, or if my words are accurate, I’m typing this one from memory)

3. What worries you most about the future?

The unknown. I’m not sure where I would be in the future, or if I even have one. And that scares me, worries me constantly.

4. If you could be with anyone right now, who would that be and why?

Not being a lovestruck little twat here, but I’d say Matt. I wanna try the real life with him. He makes it sound and feel so worth it.

5. What is one fear that is holding you back?

I’m not really sure. I have a lot of fears right now, one of them mentioned above. I think the one holding me back the most is the fear of not doing good enough. I think it hinders me most, and also I’m afraid of taking risks. I can’t always guarantee a good outcome from a risky move, but doing nothing isn’t helping me either.. This is why i’m stuck.

6. What are the 3 things that you really want to achieve?

For now, (1) To leave this university and course. Not graduate, leave. Not quite an achievement but to me it is.. (2) To leave this country, fly to California and live happily ever after in Deer Creek Canyon with him. (3) To paint and draw endlessly to my desire.

7. What songs are included on the soundtrack to your life?

- Waste by Foster the People

- VCR by The xx

-Dream by Priscilla Ahn

- Patron Saint by Regina Spektor and

- Jessica by Regina Spektor again, really I couldn’t leave this one out, I mean that’s my name lol. But no really, it’s not just about my name being there.

8. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

Amber.

9.If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? 

Allie from The Notebook, because duhh.

10.If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?

There’s no dead people I want to meet. Living, I’d say Chris Hemsworth because why not? Haha.

11. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?

Buy myself a house. Definitely.

I’m not tagging anyone because I can’t think of questions and I’m feeling lazy.. Anyways, thank you for tagging me, Martie. :)